There are no permanent friendship, only permanent interest.
I came across the phrase today. It sets me wondering...
I hate to agree with the phrase. I am more inclined to agree that there are permanent friendship built out of familiarity, trust and understanding. At least I know that I still have some friends that do not take particular interest in my economic situation, and will probably lend a helping hand in times of needs.
But yet, I realised that there are some truths in the phrase when I look back at my recent life. I guess at some point in time after the friendship starts to bud, we find that the interest no longer aligns. Just that with deeper understanding, the subconscious tells us that these friends can never satisfy our permanent interest, usually the emotional satisfaction you get when you hang out. Before you know it, a friendship you thought would last forever ended. Friendship seems harder to develop when social status comes into play. People start to weigh your career against if you are worth making the friend. Isn't the first question that pops out of a new mouth, "what do you do for a living", or something to that effect? We are very much judged on what we do for everyday life.
I guess the old folks made sense when they said that you can only find true friendship in an educational environment. I just wish that things wouldn't be so.
******
On a separate note, I am recovering my grip of sanity.
While the recent bout of distress in the family have not quite blown over, we are slowly coming to terms to the entire situation. Or at least I am. It certainly helps now that the continued administration of medication have improved my granny's disposition.
I came across the phrase today. It sets me wondering...
I hate to agree with the phrase. I am more inclined to agree that there are permanent friendship built out of familiarity, trust and understanding. At least I know that I still have some friends that do not take particular interest in my economic situation, and will probably lend a helping hand in times of needs.
But yet, I realised that there are some truths in the phrase when I look back at my recent life. I guess at some point in time after the friendship starts to bud, we find that the interest no longer aligns. Just that with deeper understanding, the subconscious tells us that these friends can never satisfy our permanent interest, usually the emotional satisfaction you get when you hang out. Before you know it, a friendship you thought would last forever ended. Friendship seems harder to develop when social status comes into play. People start to weigh your career against if you are worth making the friend. Isn't the first question that pops out of a new mouth, "what do you do for a living", or something to that effect? We are very much judged on what we do for everyday life.
I guess the old folks made sense when they said that you can only find true friendship in an educational environment. I just wish that things wouldn't be so.
******
On a separate note, I am recovering my grip of sanity.
While the recent bout of distress in the family have not quite blown over, we are slowly coming to terms to the entire situation. Or at least I am. It certainly helps now that the continued administration of medication have improved my granny's disposition.
posted by SC at 10:28 AM
9 Comments:
Dude, I can offer you a simpler insight. You´re either looking in the wrong places for friends or else you´re making the wrong friends. Or else you´re not offering enough in your friendship and I don´t mean in terms of free rides and monetary treats.
Audris
Perhaps. Oh well, at least I know I still have some old friends I can depend on. Are you one of them?
:(
It is really upsetting that you feel this way. Is friendship such a disappiontment?
Hmm... I am really not sure. I think Aud is right. You only get what you give. I hope that I am giving enough :)
Hmm, well I´m still talking to you so what do you think? You did bring me back the bag from the States after all :D
It´s true. You only get what you give, but not in the same measure. You usually get back less. Like for instance my relationship with David.
I think friendships change along with people and life circumstances and well, when you need help, you have to see who and what and how does that factor in that óther person´s life at that point in time.
So best to diversify.
Aud
How do you measure how much you give against what you get in return. What do you actually put on the balance.
I used to think that I was forever giving to JaZz, but I am guessing that she thinks the same too. People as a whole usually remember what they offered, but seldom what they get return. Anyhow, there is no scale for emotions and devotions; we just make ourselves unhappy trying to weigh it out.
ever wondered if it could be due to different priorities in our life at different stages of it?
our values change as we grow older and certain things you may used to value more, no longer do.
much of friendship depends on who you meet at that point of time, who happens to be there when you need him/her most. just bear in mind that nothing's really guaranteed forever, and our dearest friends may part away one day. you'll just have to keep it in your heart and be thankful that he/she went through certain events with you together. then maybe it will be less painful.
Insightful. I guess people do change with times. The transient and fickle nature of human behaviour makes the concept of eternity a joke.
But in any case, don't we all wish for everlasting friendship? The word forever always sounds so soothing to the ears, only that it is extremely difficult to put into practice.
You are right, perhaps we can only be glad that the friends we once had contributed a small piece to the puzzle of life.
I totally disagree with what you said about friends and friendship. I personally have many friends, who are like real brothers and sisters to me. I hope you'll find your true friends in life:)
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