I could not understand how someone with a passion for books and reading could have be so short tempered; almost to the point of barbaric. I feels extremely frustrated when I get dragged into the mood swings of one family member when he starts lamblasting about little things that are so totally trival. Or when he starts to blows his cap off at the weakest member in our family.

Everything in the books points that it is no use getting angry at anything. Anger will solve no problem. I could never understand why he cannot channel that energy used to boil up his blood into something more constructive: like solving the immediate problem at hand instead of finding swear words to spoil everyone's mood. Even after giving him a few anger management books, it still does not solve the problem.

Perhaps what perturbs me is his inability to prove himself to be useful. Perhaps I can understand if he had been under work stress, but all he is really doing just bumming around at home ; without a seeming goal to life in mind. I guess I could always find an explanation that he is semi-retired and enjoying life, yet I simply cannot come to terms how he just stay at home and make people's life miserable...

It is a real test of patience sometimes to live with him. Someone told me that being in a relationship is hardwork; but after putting in so much hardwork for the past 20 over years, I really feel that I want out. I just hope that this genes are not latent in me, waiting to explode and make someone else miserable.

I need my own space where I need no longer to bear with this nonsense. I want out.