All messed up...

Is this love? Or is it just some mindless infatuation that happens to teenagers every so often. But I am no longer that teenager. I have not fallen in love for a while. Play the casual flirt, yes. But falling in love...

Love have been a word that demands too much commitment. Too much time and emotions need be involved; the pain and heartache, guised in contentment and bliss. I have been disappointed one too many time; unsatisfactory relationships, and broken promises of forever.

So am I in love? With someone that I barely knew? I feel distant, but somehow near...

I cannot find another explanation for feeling all upset and unhappy. I could only hazard a guess; falling into the romantic quagmire. I see no way to pull myself out of it, but to let myself sink deeper into it. Perhaps, subconsciously I am willing to drown in the pit... to be that martyr, who have died gloriously for love.

Where are you? Do you know I am trying to get to you? Get near you?

I want to move closer....